Vivian St. Clair: Running With Scissors

"Because fashion was never meant to be safe."

Fashion, once a realm of aspiration, has unfortunately become quite unserious. The industry, once dedicated to elegance and craftsmanship, now seems to play dress-up with neon plastic, fishnet joggers, and silhouettes that are so asymmetrical they appear to have lost an argument with the sewing machine.

Instead of leading, fashion designers are desperately following hashtags and TikTok memes. They cling to relevance like last season's samples at a clearance sale.

My name is Vivian St. Clair. From this moment forward, I intend to do what few dare to attempt: I will run with scissors.

Each month, I will slice through this mediocrity, pierce the absurdity, and restore fashion to its rightful place. It should not be a pantomime of poor taste but an art form of precision, power, and undeniable beauty. Shall we begin?

Why Fashion Is Dying (And The Hepburn Rebirth We Desperately Need)

This morning's fashion headlines left me feeling much like when handed a soggy canapé at a poorly lit influencer brunch: bored.

Y3K Futurism? Please. If metallics, neon vomit, and balloon silhouettes define our vision for the next millennium, then perhaps the aliens should abduct us. We have remixed Y2K's most regrettable thrift store remnants but added zero vision. The only thing more recycled than these looks are the PR talking points that accompany them.

Mermaid-core? Fishnet joggers and sequined tails do not constitute a movement. This isn't Poseidon's Met Gala; it resembles a rogue cruise ship gift shop. Somewhere, Esther Williams is rolling in her underwater grave.

‘So Bad It’s Good’ Aesthetic? There was a time when fashion guided culture rather than pandering to its lowest whims like a desperate TikTok thirst trap. When mediocrity becomes intentional, we replace artistry with laziness.

The Dulling of Fashion's Edge

The problem, you see, is not that the industry lacks edge. It’s that it has dulled the blade entirely. Fashion no longer dares to inspire or lead. Instead, it cowers behind algorithms and social media validation.

This stagnation makes the fashion landscape incredibly dull. Creativity has become a rare commodity, and fans of fashion are understandably frustrated. What happened to daring designs that made us dream and aspire?

The Audrey Hepburn Rebirth

Which is precisely why I propose this: The Audrey Hepburn Rebirth.

Cream capris, soft beige linens, and silk scarves tied with elegance are essentials we need to resurrect. Cropped sleeveless tops should flatter the feminine form, and soft colors paired with tailored silhouettes would whisper wealth without screaming for attention.

We need the return of plaid, but done right. Subdued, commanding, it should nod to timeless elegance, not ironic thrift.

Because, and let us all say it together now, elegance is mandatory.

Conclusion: Embracing the Change

It's time for a change in fashion. We must embrace styles that uplift and inspire rather than succumb to trends that bore us. The fashion industry has a responsibility to its audience. It should cultivate joy and creativity, not succumb to mediocrity.

With these thoughts in mind, let’s rally behind the Audrey Hepburn Rebirth. Let’s celebrate elegance, style, and sophistication. The revival of classic aesthetics will take courage. But it’s a necessary step forward.

And now, consider this column's scissors officially unsheathed.

That's all.